So, I know it's been a few weeks since I last posted but, we have been getting our vacation time in and visiting with all our family along the East coast and friends in the Midwest. I have to say from taking the train to Chicago, to sleeping in a pack and play, to running the roads, Kensington has been the best traveller. However, I can not say that about the fellow travelers we came across during our many days away from home.
I never realized how much different having a child would change how you look at your daily activities. Getting in and out of the house and car, a task in it self with all the bags of diapers, extra outfits, toys, food, oh and don't forget your keys and wallet, you might need those. Then, you have Mr. I'm going to park over the line and make impossible for you to open your door completely and get your precious little one out, without turning into a pretzel and knocking their head off on the door frame. I mean, how hard is it to park in the lines provided for you and if you didn't get it the first time, stop rushing around like you have more important stuff to get at Michael's than, a stay at home trying to make a their sale with her additional 40% coupon from her phone app, and just adjust your lousy parking job. Now, I'm not saying that I was never one of those who thought they had a decent parking job, only to find out when leaving my car, it was a disaster, but now I notice it with a whole different perspective and will always make room for the cars beside me to get in and out. I wish the general public thought this way!
Train traveling with a 10 month old was, after all the stress levels went down and the baggage made it on, was quite enjoyable. I was able to keep our large stroller with us and be seated at the front of the train car, which has extra leg room or the perfect spot for Miss KLB's stroller. This is where she slept through the night and entertained herself most of the trip. Even, if we didn't get much sleep because the seats only reclined a little bit, and the train was very rocky, she slept beautifully. She never once had a crying spell or screaming fit, only entertained to traveller around us and was praised for her good behavior. We felt like accomplished parents and travelers when we arrived in Chicago, but then it happened. After 12 hours on a overnight train, I know everyone is itching to get off and head to their final destinations, nobody knows it more than the mother with the 10 month old, a lady with two suit cases and I'd say in her mid-fifties, rolls on up and blocks us in to our seats! When questioned my another travel she says, "This is my stop." REALLY! This was the trains last stop, everyone has to get off lady! So, as the train pulls into the station and everyone begins to bustle around us, we sit. Now, I could have been testy and excused us out of there but, the chaos was too much after 12 hours to fight with. I was amazed at how many people rushed past us to get off the train, and with maybe 3 more couples to depart, the first and only lady, asked if we would like to get out. I declined, of course trying to be nice, but inside I could not help but think how inconsiderate the whole train had been. If she had screamed and cried all night, they would've have gladly pushed us off the train.
It has been an eye opener for me and will make me always think about the people around me first and especially those with children. Other than a few other inconsiderate people I won't continue to vent about, we had three successful trips and are glad to find ourselves back at home in Bluefield with Daddy!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Celebrate Parenthood
Well, I'm not sure if there is a rule book to this blogging thing but, if I can get in one post a week I will feel accomplished. After my last post I kept thinking of things to write about, but at the same time I felt like I was over thinking this whole experience of sitting down to type what was on my mind at that moment. I think being spontaneous about it is a better plan because, I don't need one more thing to keep me up at night! Even though if I was up at night, I guess, I could be writing to you!
We celebrated Father's Day this weekend and it was actually very relaxing and enjoyable. For the first time in many years I was excited for Father's Day to get here. Even though I have always had a father figure in my life to celebrate with, losing your real father at such a young age (4), makes the day not as special. This year both Mother's Day and Father's Day was special because we were the ones being celebrated. I can't put into words how surreal it is to have a child, a daughter that we will mold and raise into an adult, who will then start the cycle all over again.
For me, losing my parents as a child, I never thought the day would come where I had a family. I thought for sure, I was doomed to have a short life like my parents and that the odds were I would go sooner than they did. After my 18th birthday and then my 21st birthday rolled around and life continued, I changed my thinking. You can't live your life fearing the worst is just around the corner. One, you don't get to enjoy it fully and two, you feel the need to rush into things and settle instead of holding out for the best. I am glad my thinking changed in my twenties and I waited and found such an amazing best friend, husband, and father to share my life with. I couldn't ask for a better partner in life and love.
Now, we have our sweet Kensie Leigh to share our lives with and it is amazing seeing her grow each day and change into a little person. I no longer live my life in fear of leaving soon, but live for each day I have with my family. Celebrating being parents has made me realize what an important job we have in life. It's not about the clothes we wear, the car we drive, the trips we take, but it's about providing for our family and loving one another. If we have the other things in life then, those are just a bonus, like the toy in a cereal box! Which, I never see anymore on a side note, cereal is so expensive every box should come with a surprise in it!
So, to any mother or father reading this I hope you celebrated yourself this year because, being a parent is a selfless job and one of the most underpaid, overlooked, professions in the world. Even if you have three other jobs to pay the bills, the most important one is being a parent and raising your child :)
~Mama Bear
We celebrated Father's Day this weekend and it was actually very relaxing and enjoyable. For the first time in many years I was excited for Father's Day to get here. Even though I have always had a father figure in my life to celebrate with, losing your real father at such a young age (4), makes the day not as special. This year both Mother's Day and Father's Day was special because we were the ones being celebrated. I can't put into words how surreal it is to have a child, a daughter that we will mold and raise into an adult, who will then start the cycle all over again.
For me, losing my parents as a child, I never thought the day would come where I had a family. I thought for sure, I was doomed to have a short life like my parents and that the odds were I would go sooner than they did. After my 18th birthday and then my 21st birthday rolled around and life continued, I changed my thinking. You can't live your life fearing the worst is just around the corner. One, you don't get to enjoy it fully and two, you feel the need to rush into things and settle instead of holding out for the best. I am glad my thinking changed in my twenties and I waited and found such an amazing best friend, husband, and father to share my life with. I couldn't ask for a better partner in life and love.
Now, we have our sweet Kensie Leigh to share our lives with and it is amazing seeing her grow each day and change into a little person. I no longer live my life in fear of leaving soon, but live for each day I have with my family. Celebrating being parents has made me realize what an important job we have in life. It's not about the clothes we wear, the car we drive, the trips we take, but it's about providing for our family and loving one another. If we have the other things in life then, those are just a bonus, like the toy in a cereal box! Which, I never see anymore on a side note, cereal is so expensive every box should come with a surprise in it!
So, to any mother or father reading this I hope you celebrated yourself this year because, being a parent is a selfless job and one of the most underpaid, overlooked, professions in the world. Even if you have three other jobs to pay the bills, the most important one is being a parent and raising your child :)
~Mama Bear
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The Real Housewife
I was sitting here this morning, drinking my coffee thinking of all the things I need to do in my house before the weekend. Kensington has been sick for a few days with a fever and this has been bring me down too. So, I procrastinate and retreat to my so called "addictions" Facebook, Etsy, and Pinterest. Bear calls them my "addictions" but I prefer to think of them as my hobbies. They take to me to another place and allow me to compile my creative ideas swirling around in my head and save them in a virtual filing cabinet. Sitting down today, looking at my computer screen I realized maybe I should do something with these ideas, like post them on a Blog. I have had this set up for sometime now and not posted the first thing, so here I am! This is my first post and it feels nice to be typing because I want to, not for school, or work, or replying to an email. I almost feel like i'm talking to the world and maybe even a friend that I never knew I had. It is weird, but in some ways therapeutic.
The title I chose for this first post relates to how I am feeling everyday staying at home with my daughter, Kensington. I am the real housewife, not the one you see on TV living a reality show lifestyle, but the one who is at home all day long with a almost ten month old, two dogs, a cat, and the responsibilities of a house. Which, seems much smaller and full of stuff to do when you stay home all day and don't hurry to and from work. I am grateful for this opportunity to raise our daughter and to have the luxury of staying home with her. I never thought this would be an option for us in this economy. This brings me to the beginning, one of the most eye opening experiences of my life, being moved to Bluefield, Va.
It was the last semester of my Masters program at Virginia Commonwealth University, February 12, 2009 when we got the news. News that would rock our world, the world that Bear and I had envisioned living in, owning a home in, creating a family in, and sharing our life together in with our friends and family. That day changed us forever. I am not going to say for bad or good, because there isn't a straight forward answer to that question. I hadn't gotten to talk to Bear all day because I was in class and he was at work. He then had to go straight to sound check at Toads Place in Richmond, Va for the Tribute to Dave Matthews Show with his band Steve Carter Connextion. This was a night everyone was looking forward to and such a big accomplishment for the band. Being the "Band Mom" or manager, I was also headed there and not worried that I hadn't heard from him because I knew I would see him downtown. After everything was set up and sound check was done, Bear came up to me and I knew right away something was wrong. Which of course in my mind, I figured Steven had forgot his capo, again, or something wasn't right with the sound, never guessing what he would tell me next. I asked what the deal was and he gave me a hug and a kiss and said, "You're never going to believe what happened at work today." Right away I'm thinking the worst, he lost his job. In this economy not uncommon and something that wouldn't bother me because I knew he would find something and everything would be ok. He continued to tell me that he was given an ultimatum, he either had to move to the companies western store in Bluefield, Va or he would not have a job in Richmond. On top of this news, they had given him over night to make his decision and he would be moving in two weeks, starting work March 1st. Now, I know what you're thinking, at least he has a job! Yes, we were both aware and grateful for this, but it's hard to see that through the storm of emotions and ideas of future plans we both had created. With this news, I of course started to cry thinking selfishly in the back of my mind, I have to stay here alone because I have one more semester left of school and a job for the summer I had already committed to. He asked me to not tell anyone that night because he didn't want to ruin the show for anyone, of course this was a hard thing to keep to myself and I did tell my roommate Kim, who was also taken back with shock. After the show that night we drove up to my apartment and just talked through all the scenarios and weighed pros and cons, but I knew before our talk this was a no brainer.... He had to go :(
For anyone who knows us, we love our time together but even more we love being with our friends, entertaining, going out for Wednesday night burgers at Curbside, the night life of the band playing 2-3 nights a week, late night Asante's, everything living in Richmond gave us and more. When we googled Bluefield, Va and compared the populations for the two cities it was an eye opener, 1.2 million in Richmond vs 12,000 in Bluefield, rounding the number. The decision was made based on our livelihood and Bears future with the company, he would move. I would stay, finish school and my summer job and move out in August. Sadly, we told our friends and family and this would change many more relationship then I ever thought in the months to come.
Little did I know on February 14, 2009, two days after the news that would change our lives forever, Bear had planned a surprise Engagement party! Both of our families and all of our friends were there to share this once in a life time moment. After a wonderful dinner at Curbside, not consisting of burgers, we drove back my apartment because he insisted we take Bela, our first furry born, out before we headed to the movies. We had been talking of our future and the plans we were starting to rebuild, when he turned to me on the steps of my apartment and started telling me how him moving was not going to change anything in our relationship and how much he loved me, before I could respond he was on one knee pulling out a ring box! My first words were "Oh Shit" not what you want to say during a proposal or something I usually say but, I was in complete shock and surprised. The second things I said was "Yes!" I told him he didn't need to do this just because he was leaving that we would be fine, but he insisted this was in the works way before the news of him moving. I was so excited to get inside and call everyone while I was letting the dog out, but when I walked inside through the dining room door was everyone I wanted to see and more! They were all there to celebrate with us and share in this special moment. I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine's Day/Engagement Party/Proposal!
The next 6 months were tough and we saw each other almost every weekend, which made for a lot of driving since it was a 6 hour drive. Somehow we survived with only a few lonely nights at Curbside, and one hound dog later, we reunited in Bluefield to start the year of planning for our August 2010 wedding. I was unable to get a contract teaching job, and settled for being an aide for child with autism, which proved to be a very challenging and draining job. We also shared our living quarters with Bears co-worker and it was nice to have to company but after awhile we decided we should start looking for a house. We never thought we would find one so fast and fall in love with it! I was still hesitant about calling this our home because the convinces we both grew up with, were not in Bluefield. Target is an hour away in any direction, the only grocery store is Food City, half of the mall stores are vacant, and most shopping in general is done at Walmart, which was never my first choice. Not only that but, none of our friends or family were near by, testing our relationship everyday. You really learn that outside of being social and sharing the daily grind with each other, when it's just you and your partner you need to enjoy each others company, even if it's just sitting with each other not doing anything.
We decided to take the plunge and bought our home in May of 2010, and then were happily married on my parents anniversary, 8.7.10. Even though this was never in our plans to live in Bluefield, buy a home so quickly, and live the simple life, it has proven to us that plans are nice but surprises can bring things you never imagined. The following school year I unsuccessfully applied to several counties and did not get a contract position teaching. In October, I was offered a long term sub position teaching in Mercer County, WV for a 4th grade class. I was so happy and excited to have my first classroom, even though it didn't guarantee a position for the following year. Who knew this would be just fine, because three days after Christmas we found out we were expecting a human baby!
We were delighted at the news of having a baby. Even though we had just married in August, we had been together 5 years going on 6 and were ready to start a family. This is when the decision came for me to stay at home to raise our child. Bear's mother was also lucky enough to stay at home and raise her family. This is what he wanted for his family too and I agreed since we had no family or really hadn't built a relationship with anyone we trusted to watch our child everyday, it was best for me to stay at home. I finished out the year with my 4th graders and made my traveling rounds through the summer to visit friends and family before we would be without the duel income, which allowed us to travel.
August 26, 2011 our surprise baby girl, Kensington Leigh Bear was born! What we did with our time before her, I do not know? She keeps us busy and has grown so fast! She is what we live our lives for now, not Curbside burgers and beers, not SCC, not being social with our friends, not shopping, just loving her and making sure she has the best life possible. You become such a selfless person when you have a child. The things that were important to you seem frivolous and small compared to this life you have brought into the world. The people you thought meant so much to you and were your friends, you come to realize have been replaced by your family. The family that you have created and the family that has been there since you were created, those are your true friends. Do we miss our friends? Yes, but in the big picture there are so many more important things in life then trying to maintain friendships that are one sided and stressful, FAMILY!
Well, this was a very liberating experience to write all this out and now who knows who will read it but I know I feel a lot better and that's what matters :)
~Mama Bear
The title I chose for this first post relates to how I am feeling everyday staying at home with my daughter, Kensington. I am the real housewife, not the one you see on TV living a reality show lifestyle, but the one who is at home all day long with a almost ten month old, two dogs, a cat, and the responsibilities of a house. Which, seems much smaller and full of stuff to do when you stay home all day and don't hurry to and from work. I am grateful for this opportunity to raise our daughter and to have the luxury of staying home with her. I never thought this would be an option for us in this economy. This brings me to the beginning, one of the most eye opening experiences of my life, being moved to Bluefield, Va.
It was the last semester of my Masters program at Virginia Commonwealth University, February 12, 2009 when we got the news. News that would rock our world, the world that Bear and I had envisioned living in, owning a home in, creating a family in, and sharing our life together in with our friends and family. That day changed us forever. I am not going to say for bad or good, because there isn't a straight forward answer to that question. I hadn't gotten to talk to Bear all day because I was in class and he was at work. He then had to go straight to sound check at Toads Place in Richmond, Va for the Tribute to Dave Matthews Show with his band Steve Carter Connextion. This was a night everyone was looking forward to and such a big accomplishment for the band. Being the "Band Mom" or manager, I was also headed there and not worried that I hadn't heard from him because I knew I would see him downtown. After everything was set up and sound check was done, Bear came up to me and I knew right away something was wrong. Which of course in my mind, I figured Steven had forgot his capo, again, or something wasn't right with the sound, never guessing what he would tell me next. I asked what the deal was and he gave me a hug and a kiss and said, "You're never going to believe what happened at work today." Right away I'm thinking the worst, he lost his job. In this economy not uncommon and something that wouldn't bother me because I knew he would find something and everything would be ok. He continued to tell me that he was given an ultimatum, he either had to move to the companies western store in Bluefield, Va or he would not have a job in Richmond. On top of this news, they had given him over night to make his decision and he would be moving in two weeks, starting work March 1st. Now, I know what you're thinking, at least he has a job! Yes, we were both aware and grateful for this, but it's hard to see that through the storm of emotions and ideas of future plans we both had created. With this news, I of course started to cry thinking selfishly in the back of my mind, I have to stay here alone because I have one more semester left of school and a job for the summer I had already committed to. He asked me to not tell anyone that night because he didn't want to ruin the show for anyone, of course this was a hard thing to keep to myself and I did tell my roommate Kim, who was also taken back with shock. After the show that night we drove up to my apartment and just talked through all the scenarios and weighed pros and cons, but I knew before our talk this was a no brainer.... He had to go :(
For anyone who knows us, we love our time together but even more we love being with our friends, entertaining, going out for Wednesday night burgers at Curbside, the night life of the band playing 2-3 nights a week, late night Asante's, everything living in Richmond gave us and more. When we googled Bluefield, Va and compared the populations for the two cities it was an eye opener, 1.2 million in Richmond vs 12,000 in Bluefield, rounding the number. The decision was made based on our livelihood and Bears future with the company, he would move. I would stay, finish school and my summer job and move out in August. Sadly, we told our friends and family and this would change many more relationship then I ever thought in the months to come.
Little did I know on February 14, 2009, two days after the news that would change our lives forever, Bear had planned a surprise Engagement party! Both of our families and all of our friends were there to share this once in a life time moment. After a wonderful dinner at Curbside, not consisting of burgers, we drove back my apartment because he insisted we take Bela, our first furry born, out before we headed to the movies. We had been talking of our future and the plans we were starting to rebuild, when he turned to me on the steps of my apartment and started telling me how him moving was not going to change anything in our relationship and how much he loved me, before I could respond he was on one knee pulling out a ring box! My first words were "Oh Shit" not what you want to say during a proposal or something I usually say but, I was in complete shock and surprised. The second things I said was "Yes!" I told him he didn't need to do this just because he was leaving that we would be fine, but he insisted this was in the works way before the news of him moving. I was so excited to get inside and call everyone while I was letting the dog out, but when I walked inside through the dining room door was everyone I wanted to see and more! They were all there to celebrate with us and share in this special moment. I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine's Day/Engagement Party/Proposal!
The next 6 months were tough and we saw each other almost every weekend, which made for a lot of driving since it was a 6 hour drive. Somehow we survived with only a few lonely nights at Curbside, and one hound dog later, we reunited in Bluefield to start the year of planning for our August 2010 wedding. I was unable to get a contract teaching job, and settled for being an aide for child with autism, which proved to be a very challenging and draining job. We also shared our living quarters with Bears co-worker and it was nice to have to company but after awhile we decided we should start looking for a house. We never thought we would find one so fast and fall in love with it! I was still hesitant about calling this our home because the convinces we both grew up with, were not in Bluefield. Target is an hour away in any direction, the only grocery store is Food City, half of the mall stores are vacant, and most shopping in general is done at Walmart, which was never my first choice. Not only that but, none of our friends or family were near by, testing our relationship everyday. You really learn that outside of being social and sharing the daily grind with each other, when it's just you and your partner you need to enjoy each others company, even if it's just sitting with each other not doing anything.
We decided to take the plunge and bought our home in May of 2010, and then were happily married on my parents anniversary, 8.7.10. Even though this was never in our plans to live in Bluefield, buy a home so quickly, and live the simple life, it has proven to us that plans are nice but surprises can bring things you never imagined. The following school year I unsuccessfully applied to several counties and did not get a contract position teaching. In October, I was offered a long term sub position teaching in Mercer County, WV for a 4th grade class. I was so happy and excited to have my first classroom, even though it didn't guarantee a position for the following year. Who knew this would be just fine, because three days after Christmas we found out we were expecting a human baby!
We were delighted at the news of having a baby. Even though we had just married in August, we had been together 5 years going on 6 and were ready to start a family. This is when the decision came for me to stay at home to raise our child. Bear's mother was also lucky enough to stay at home and raise her family. This is what he wanted for his family too and I agreed since we had no family or really hadn't built a relationship with anyone we trusted to watch our child everyday, it was best for me to stay at home. I finished out the year with my 4th graders and made my traveling rounds through the summer to visit friends and family before we would be without the duel income, which allowed us to travel.
August 26, 2011 our surprise baby girl, Kensington Leigh Bear was born! What we did with our time before her, I do not know? She keeps us busy and has grown so fast! She is what we live our lives for now, not Curbside burgers and beers, not SCC, not being social with our friends, not shopping, just loving her and making sure she has the best life possible. You become such a selfless person when you have a child. The things that were important to you seem frivolous and small compared to this life you have brought into the world. The people you thought meant so much to you and were your friends, you come to realize have been replaced by your family. The family that you have created and the family that has been there since you were created, those are your true friends. Do we miss our friends? Yes, but in the big picture there are so many more important things in life then trying to maintain friendships that are one sided and stressful, FAMILY!
Well, this was a very liberating experience to write all this out and now who knows who will read it but I know I feel a lot better and that's what matters :)
~Mama Bear
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